so wear me like a locket around your throat
by hikomokushi
Summary: They disappear. written for the 2010 Damon/Elena Secret Santa Exchange at the damon elena community on LiveJournal.
1. one

**title:** wear me like a locket around your throat.  
**pairings: **damon salvatore/elena gilbert. implied tyler lockwood/caroline forbes.  
**rating:** t.  
**disclaimer:** i do not own _the vampire diaries._ i do not own fall out boy.  
**warnings: **spoilers up to latest episodes released. language. (character death.?)  
**words:** 6,797.  
**prompt:** _the rise and fall (and rise) of damon and elena's relationship through the eyes of another character. i don't mind who the character is—so long as it isn't bonnie or an oc._ written for the 2010 Damon/Elena Secret Santa Exchange at the **damon_elena** community on LiveJournal._  
_**summary: **six days after elijah physically removed katerina petrova's head from her shoulders, they disappear.

**author Notes: **i like this title—as you can tell, i've been listening to too much old school fall out boy lately—but this could easily also have been titled _"my love affair with caroline forbes."_ xD this prompt? loved it, loved it, loved it. it took me forever to actually decided how i wanted to write it out, so sorry it's so late. i hope this is what you want, whoever you are. (:

* * *

The raging fire which urged us on  
was scorching us; it would have burned us  
had we tried to restrain it.  
— Casanova (1725-1798).

* * *

_**when you go, i will forget everything about you.  
**_Six days after Elijah physically removed Katerina Petrova's head from her shoulders, they disappear.

No warnings, no good-byes—just two empty bedrooms in two different houses. The only signs of their departure (other than the lack of clothes in dresser drawers, the pleasant echo of voices in the halls) are an envelope and a crumpled note. The note says "I'm sorry" in hasty, looped handwriting and the envelope holds a fine-chain necklace with a nickel-sized pendant. The note is addressed to Aunt Jenna, with love. The envelope to Stefan and sealed with a tiny lipstick kiss.

* * *

_**i'm such a sucker, and i'm always the last to know.**_  
Caroline cannot bring herself to tell Jenna the truth, or even some semblance of it, for the sake of her safety and for her sanity. She has seen firsthand what knowing can do to a person, knows what it did to her. How does one explain mythological vampires and doppelgangers and centuries old curses?

Not over coffee and muffins.

She sits in the Gilbert kitchen and shares meaningful looks with Jeremy and Alaric, trades cool stares with her once-best friend Bonnie. Jenna's nephew grips her hand tightly as Alaric rubs soothing circles on his girlfriend's back. Caroline says, _they've run away before—they'll come back. Just give them time. Elena's a smart girl, and Damon won't put her in danger._ Even Alaric agrees with her: Elena is perfectly safe in Damon's quite capable hands. Bonnie knows better than to open her mouth. Things like "maybe it's for the best" and "I'm sure they're happy, whatever they're doing" are not welcome in this kitchen. This is a place of despair, of regret, of mourning.

Jenna cries for the niece-girl who was like a friend, who was once here but is now gone. Jeremy cries for the sister that he knows isn't coming back, because even if she did, she would not be his sister anymore. Caroline cannot cry, but if she could, she would cry for a kindred spirit.

When they leave, Bonnie touches Caroline for the first time in weeks—a punishing twist of fingertips on her forearm, prompting Caroline to spin to face her.

"Why do you guys continue to lie to her?" she snaps, letting go as though burned. "They're not coming back."

"What did you do, Bonnie?"

The witch recoils, feet stumbling back a step. "'Excuse me?"

Dark eyes narrow, her teeth setting—speaking with a grimace. "You know something. What did you do?"

She's young, not weak. Sometimes, Caroline wonders if Bonnie fully comprehends what she is capable of doing, if she understands how easily actions can occur in the minds and hands of young, irrational vampire. And she doesn't mean sleights of hand. The natural tendency toward violence is a knife-edge walked every day. She never better understood Damon's tendency toward aggression and the warped, twisted affection he drowned her in until she placed her teeth against the soft skin of Matthew Donovan's neck, and _bit_.

She was once a kiddie pool of shallow thoughts and selfish inclinations, but now she is _deep_, deeper than she ever believed she could be. Her abyss is bottomless.

Caroline is anger and slick emotions, rash violence and deep, blood-red death clad in big doe eyes, bubbly blonde curls and spun sugar skin.

She wonders if Bonnie needs another lesson in just how quickly she can deliver. "What did you do?" she asks again, this time with the threat curling behind every specifically pronounced word, every punctuated click of her heels on the concrete.

"I made Damon another daywalker ring."

There is no sudden realization, or calm understanding. The fact that Bonnie so calmly sentenced her friend to death is sickening. "God, you really are a bitch," snaps Caroline, taking a single forward step.

The woman she knew as Bonnie Bennett scrambled backwards on unsteady legs as the concrete around the young vampire's foot spider-webbed with cracks. "You practically gift-wrapped Elena and then handed her over to Damon."

"You are all so blind." Bonnie's practically running backwards, but possesses the sense to keep her lip from quivering. "Elena was gone a long time before she left. And I didn't hand him anything he didn't already have claim to—I just gave him the means to secure it. You were all just too blind to notice. I told you, I'd protect this town from vampires, even if it means having to give Damon a reason to leave."

"What do you mean?" The blond hesitates, just one second, and it's enough time for the witch to regain a little composure.

Bonnie's all strong lines and slight smirks, and she tilts her head to the side as she asks, "You never noticed, really?"

Caroline's not sure if Bonnie's even asking a question or just repeating it for the sake of feeling superior for a moment. "Well, then again, you never had much going for you in the head-department. Jeremy told me, even if I hadn't noticed it with my own eyes. Damon loved Elena."

"Damon loved _women_." She's bristling from the insult, blond hair bouncing with the forcefulness of her words. "No surprise there."

"Damon liked sex, and yeah, he liked women, but he _loved_ Elena. _Really loved her_." In another person, this might sound romantic, thinks Caroline, but watching the effect the words have on the witch's features would make anyone believe Bonnie was talking about a flesh-eating disease rather than the way a man cared for a woman. "And she cared for him too. Why else would she have never let Stefan get rid of him? Never tried to get him out of Mystic Falls, even after all he did? In her own, weird way, Elena loved him too. And for whatever it was worth, Elena made Damon _better_. There were thousands of little hints that anyone with half a brain could have noticed. It's why Stefan never let Elena out of his sight, after that whole fiasco with Rose. He even kissed her once—granted, he was drunk and out of his mind and then he tried to kill Jeremy. Stefan doesn't even know."

"I'm sure Elena was more focused on the fact that her brother was saved from dying by a magical ring than this supposed kiss."

"Yeah. Sure, Caroline. Believe whatever you want to believe. But Katherine's dead, and Damon's gone—and if you haven't noticed, Stefan's gone too. Mystical Falls can finally go back to being semi-normal." Bonnie's cocky, but it still only takes one more step toward her to send the witch running to her car.

It's enough to satisfy Caroline's still-burning rage, and the confusion suddenly fogging up her mind.


	2. two

**title:** wear me like a locket around your throat.  
**pairings: **damon salvatore/elena gilbert. implied tyler lockwood/caroline forbes.  
**rating:** t.  
**disclaimer:** i do not own _the vampire diaries._ i do not own fall out boy.  
**warnings: **spoilers up to latest episodes released. language. (character death.?)  
**words:** 6,797.  
**prompt:** _the rise and fall (and rise) of damon and elena's relationship through the eyes of another character. i don't mind who the character is—so long as it isn't bonnie or an oc. _written for the 2010 Damon/Elena Secret Santa Exchange at the **damon_elena** community on LiveJournal.  
**summary: **six days after elijah physically removed katerina petrova's head from her shoulders, they disappear.

**author Notes: **i like this title—as you can tell, i've been listening to too much old school fall out boy lately—but this could easily also have been titled _"my love affair with caroline forbes."_ xD this prompt? loved it, loved it, loved it. it took me forever to actually decided how i wanted to write it out, so sorry it's so late. i hope this is what you want, whoever you are. (:

* * *

_**drink down that gin and kerosene and come spit on bridges with me.**_  
"She left? Just like that?"

She wonders if this will ever feel normal—drinking a bottle of blood in a cage of a cave, in the middle of the forest, while she watches Tyler Lockwood reinforce his steel manacles with stronger ground plating. After the last full moon, he'd ripped the six-by-six steel mounts straight out the ground. In fact, she's not sure which part is stranger: the blood-drinking, the fact that Tyler is a werewolf, or the fact that she finds herself steadily obsessed with the way the muscles in his arm move underneath the stretch cotton of his t-shirt. She's held those muscles—clenched and restrained them while they flexed like steel during transformations and then soothed and rubbed them while cradling him after. The intimacy level she continues to experience with a boy she once thought she hated is new and strange, but she can't bring herself to go.

She busies herself by taking another gulp of blood and nearly winces at the taste. A year so ago, the things she hated would change with her mood; from heels that pinched her toes or how her straightener caused split ends, the way boys' eyes went to Elena before her or how red looked better on Bonnie.

Her biggest worry now is on the freshness of the blood she drinks, the taste and where it comes from. She's partial to A-, but can stand the either O's, and anything with even a hint of B makes her sick to her stomach. Tonight, she's dining on O+. It's lukewarm—the worst temperature for blood. Anything close to 98.6 is practically perfect. Overheating it past 100 kills the flavor, like overcooking pasta; it's just gross. Keep it 'fridged and it'll keep from going stale. Room-temperature is like drinking week-old soda, flat and with a nasty aftertaste.

Even so, she drains half the bottle before even looking back at Tyler, bent over on all fours as he works. When she does, she finds him frozen with a perturbed expression on his face, and her dark eyes widen with embarrassment. "What?"

Tyler scoffs and shakes his head, sits back on his calves. "I said, "she left—just like that?" Thanks for paying attention."

"I'm sorry, I'm just distracted!" she frets, toying with a stray strand of hair that's fallen out of her ponytail. It's easier than staring at the bulge of muscle in Tyler's bicep. "Yesterday… Bonnie said some things. I've just been thinking every since. You know me. Thinking's not exactly a good idea."

He rolls his eyes. "You're not stupid Care—you just have the attention span of a nat."

She tries to feel insulted, but it's true. Talking to her is like talking to a child on Ritalin and she knows it. Hearing it doesn't make her feel any better, but there's nothing insulting in his tone. He's just making conversation, like he always does with her.

"How long do you have?" she asks instead, fiddling with the bottlecap between her thumb and forefinger. "Before the next full moon?"

Tyler sighs, "Nine days."

He leans back over and the cave once again fills with the sound of steel against steel. Caroline winces at the noise, like he's taking the hammer straight to her temple. His senses are strong, stronger than any human, and she doesn't know how he'd compare to hers, but she knows it has to bother his hearing just as much. He's using four five-inch steel stakes in each of the four plates. When he's got the first one done, he reattaches the manacles and gives an experimental tug. They clang like ghost stories, but she thinks he may hold for a bit longer this time around.

"I thought Elena was dating Stefan."

Caroline glances up and shrugs. "I thought so too. I guess not now. I don't even know where _he_ disappeared off too."

"Maybe he went after them." Tyler shrugs and gives a non-committal scoff at her glare. "It's what I'd do if the girl I thought I loved ran off with some other dude."

"Would you really?" She's never pegged him for the type, and his comment is near romantic, not that she likes that sort of thing. "But I don't know. I guess Stefan probably went after them. Not like there's anything he can do about it. Damon's probably already turned her."

Tyler makes a face. "Why the hell would anybody want to be a freakin' vampire?"

"Well, why the hell would anybody want to be a stinky werewolf?"

The look that crosses his face makes her feel guilty. He didn't mean it that way, didn't mean to insult her, and she should have known that. Lately, he's the only person who makes her feel even a trace of the humanity that's left inside her. Stefan told her about the switch, and in the beginning, she was half tempted to flip it. The idea of feeling no pain, no guilt, no remorse—it's heaven smack dab in hell. But she couldn't bring herself to, and it's these moments that make her wish she had the courage to decide not to care anymore.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry." He's cried in front of her too many times now, and she doesn't want to be the cause of another waterworks session. She likes her men strong and manly, but when he's not The Wolf, he's still just a boy. Caroline sinks from her rock shelf to the ground in front of him and crouches, reaching out a hand to him. "I know you didn't mean it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped."

He leans his cheek into her palm and covers it with his own hand. "Just forget about it." Then he's backing away and getting to his feet, putting space between them again.

Just when she thinks she's breaking him down, she adds another brick to the wall.

"What did Bonnie say?" says Tyler eventually, after his drinks from his own water bottle and finally glances back at her. She's sitting on the dirt floor and can't bring herself to care if she's ruining $120 jeans. "To make you start thinking? What did she say?"

Should she tell him? Conjure up all the memories of the times she's spent with the Gilbert girl and a 146-year-old vampire—both in the dark and out? Caroline sighs. What could it hurt? "That I was blind. And that Damon's in love with Elena. And that she cares for him too."

Tyler's brows furrow, shooting her a puzzled, not entirely confused look. "Huh. Do you believe her?"

"I, I—I don't know."

Tyler stretches and cracks about forty-seven different bones in his back, or at least it sounds that way, then sits down directly in front of her. He folds his legs Indian-style and balances his chin against the knuckles of his left hand, elbow on his thigh. His knee is less than six inches from her own, and she can feel the heat he generates. With his right, he reaches out and rests just his fingertips against the outside of her knee. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Caroline doesn't need to breath anymore, but she still does out of habit, and it's catching right here—because even the lightest touch is like fire against her room-temperature flesh.

"Why would you want to listen to me talk about it?"

He shrugs, pinky slipping half an inch along her covered skin. "Why would you want to spend your day watching me hammer steel plates to the floor of a cave?" His smile is hesitant, but it sends shivers down her spine. It's a tingle she hasn't felt before. He coughs lightly, glancing away, and she remembers she's been staring. "So… Which one of you met him first?"

"I'm assuming she did," admits Caroline, biting her lip as she thinks. "She knew who he was when he dropped me off at cheerleading practice that one time." She sighs. "She told me he was bad news and she didn't think that I should be with him. But that doesn't prove she loved him—just the opposite!"

"You think she was jealous?" When she glares, he backtracks, "Okay, well, that was just in the beginning. How often were they around each other? Were they alone? How would you describe the way they acted around each other?"

Caroline's head slowly tilts to the side as she meets his eyes, curious expression on her face. Tyler flushes and tugs his hand away. "What? I've spent years listening to you girls talk. Don't expect me to paint your toenails and offer to cry with you over that _Notebook_ movie, but it's hard not to pick up on some things. And, well, sometimes I watch those crime-psych shows when I get drunk."

She lets out a breathy laugh and shakes her head. "Uhm, yeah, they hung out a lot. He's Stefan's brother—plus they were trying to keep him from opening up the tomb—"

"The ancient vampire one, right?"

"Yeah, that one. Obviously, I didn't know that until more recently. Bonnie knew all along, but I kind of got left out of the loop."

"They were trying to protect you."

She hates to admit that he's right. "Oh whatever. I know she skipped school one day a couple of months ago because Damon dragged her off to Atlanta for the day. Jenna was furious about that. I know that Stefan had some trouble with blood and her and Damon helped him through it. When Stefan got stuck in the tomb with Katherine, Elena and Rose went to find Rose's one friend—and Damon went and brought her back."

Tyler shrugs. "Well, that's sort of compelling."

"But she _hated_ him when Katherine came back—he snapped Jeremy's neck!" She's using her hands, gesturing wildly with one and the other tangling, tightly gripping her hair. "And when she found out that he was the one that turned her mom, she was pretty angry. There was something about Bonnie in there too, and she pretty much hated him when he was using me."

"They're a soap-opera drama, is what you're saying."

"Pretty much." Tyler's eyes are too dark, much too focused on her face, and if she could flush—she would. She distracts herself by glancing at her cell phone and then jumping to her feet. His head cranes backwards. "I'm… I'm sorry, it's late. I'm supposed to stop by Ele—Jenna's and tell her if I'd heard anything. I don't want to stop over too late."

Tyler's nodding, toying with the water bottle in his hands, not looking at her now. "Yeah, yeah, I got it."

_I'm going to regret this…_ Caroline drops back to her knees. She slides one hand against his face and uses the fingers of her other to raise his head again. "Thank you." They're trembling, these parts that touch and for the life of her, she can't tell if it's her or him. But he's warm and there is something about him that won't let her just leave him like this—confused and alone, broken on the floor of his self-built prison. "And honestly, I don't know if there's any place I'd rather be at than here with you."

She leans in and presses her lips against his forehead, and then she's gone.


	3. three

**title:** wear me like a locket around your throat.  
**pairings: **damon salvatore/elena gilbert. implied tyler lockwood/caroline forbes.  
**rating:** t.  
**disclaimer:** i do not own _the vampire diaries._ i do not own fall out boy.  
**warnings: **spoilers up to latest episodes released. language. (character death.?)  
**words:** 6,797.  
**prompt:** _the rise and fall (and rise) of damon and elena's relationship through the eyes of another character. i don't mind who the character is—so long as it isn't bonnie or an oc. _written for the 2010 Damon/Elena Secret Santa Exchange at the **damon_elena** community on LiveJournal.  
**summary: **six days after elijah physically removed katerina petrova's head from her shoulders, they disappear.

**author Notes: **i like this title—as you can tell, i've been listening to too much old school fall out boy lately—but this could easily also have been titled _"my love affair with caroline forbes."_ xD this prompt? loved it, loved it, loved it. it took me forever to actually decided how i wanted to write it out, so sorry it's so late. i hope this is what you want, whoever you are. (:

* * *

_**conversation got me here: another night alone in the city.**_  
It's been over a month since Damon and Elena skipped town, but life has yet to slip back into the careful lull it once occupied. She's now taken to having dinner over at the Gilbert house, half to watch Jenna and offer support and half to simply feel involved. Alaric doesn't like to leave Jenna alone. He still keeps his apartment across town, but Caroline knows for a fact that the desk in the corner is covered in papers he's in the process of grading and Jenna's made room in her closet for his clothes.

He is as involved in his girlfriend's life as she needs him to be, and Caroline's pleased to see that she can at least smile again.

Jenna is depressed and Caroline feels responsible.

Elena was her friend—even if she hadn't known what the pair had planned, she should have seen something. She shouldn't have been so shocked, so in the dark. She should have had some clue. It's not uncomfortable, because both Jeremy and Alaric know what she is, and from time to time, the history teacher even helps to get her blood.

The effect is strange, but not unpleasant. It's almost like having a family again, except no one is married, there isn't any yelling, and Alaric isn't sneaking off with Jenna's hairdresser.

It's Italian on the menu tonight—Caroline isn't exactly sure what it is Alaric made, but she knows that she's in love with it. Her father is an impeccable cook, but he generally sticks to the recipe and doesn't deviate. Alaric has a way of taking what's written on the paper and subtly changing the most minute parts. Caroline was a terrible cook in life and she's no better in death; enhanced senses make it hard to distinguish between when things are at the right temperature, and spices give her such a bad case of the sneezes that she ends up burning everything.

Whatever the teacher does to the food, it's making love in Caroline's mouth, and she hasn't tasted anything this good since eating that poor guy who caught Bonnie's eye at the carnival. "God, this great."

She's got a couple manicured fingernails covering her mouth to keep from dribbling food everywhere. Alaric simply laughs. "I'm glad you like it Caroline, do you want any more?"

She swallows swiftly. "I can't, I'm practically bursting. I've probably added five pounds tonight," she adds as an afterthought, because it's the sort of thing the old her would have said. Alaric shares a conspiratory look as he bites into his chicken.

"I know what you mean, Caroline," says Jenna, walking back to the table, a fresh plate of some pasta and sauce dish in her hands. "I'm pretty certain that Alaric's a cannibal or something. He's fattening me and Jeremy up so that he can fry us and eat us."

"No!" Alaric gasps dramatically after he swallows his wine. He leans over and pecks Jenna on the neck, winking toward Caroline. "Just you—I've got no use for Jeremy, here."

The young man rolls his eyes and scoffs. "You guys need to stop doing that at the kitchen table. I'm going to go and meet Bonnie at The Grill." Jeremy scoots his chair away from the table and grabs his coat from the back of his chair, then starts off down the hallway. "I won't be back too late, I know it's a school night." His house keys jingle against the ceramic bowl by the door and then they hear it shut.

Alaric shares another glance with her, and Caroline glances down at her plate, feeling as though she is dry-swallowing a dime-sized pill.

There is something going on between Bonnie and Jeremy.

Jeremy's been down a long, hard road with the women he's loved—a mother dead, a sister missing, two vampire girlfriends both murdered. If he has the chance for love again with Bonnie, hell if she'll be the one to tell him that it's the witch's fault his sister is gone.

She has only mentioned Bonnie's indiscretions to Tyler and Alaric, because there's really no one else she could tell. With Elena, Stefan and Damon gone, she finds her days boring and filled with more time than she's ever had before. School seems pointless, and she goes only half the time. When she's not at school, Jenna's, or with Tyler in his little hidey-hole, she splits the time between hanging around the Salvatore home and sleeping in her bed. Her home is not her home anymore. It hasn't been for a very long time, and it's hard for her to admit that it's been that way since before she became a vampire.

Without Jeremy there, she feels out of place, and after wiping traces of sauce from her mouth, she gets up to place her dishes in the sink. "Thanks for dinner, Aunt Jenna, Mr. Saltzman." She smiles and gives Jenna half-hearted hug. "I should be getting home."

"You're welcome, anytime," Jenna says, gripping her tightly. Caroline wonders if she's a stand-in for Elena. First with Bonnie, then with Matt, now with Elena's own aunt. "It's nice to have somebody else in the house, since Elena's been gone. You haven't heard anything? Alaric says Stefan hasn't been in town since I gave him back the necklace."

"I haven't seen him. And all of their cell phones are out of service." She frowns and wishes she could cry again. "I stop by the boardinghouse every once in a while, hoping to find someone there. The bills are still being paid for, but nobody's been there in weeks."

Jenna sighs and sits back down again, tears welling—she blinks them away and keeps her voice strong. Caroline is infinitely jealous of her strength. "I just wish I knew why they left. If she'd wanted to be with Damon so bad, I wouldn't have said anything, as long as she'd ended things with Stefan first."

Caroline sinks back into her seat, staring. "Really?" she asks, incredulous. "You would have been okay with her and Damon?"

"If she really loved him."

"I can't believe you'd say that. I thought you hated him. Elena always said you thought he was a dick."

"Oh, he was." Jenna chuckles, much to Caroline's amazement. "But he could be sweet when he wanted to be. If he truly loved someone, I don't doubt he could be one of the sweetest guys in the world, once you get past his ego. It sucks, but… the heart wants what the heart wants. And if she truly loved him, and he was good to her, I wouldn't have stood in her way."

It's strange to see Jenna laugh, but uplifting at the same time. Caroline thinks she can see something of Jenna again, like the pieces are slowly coming back together, even if they're like a patchwork quilt. It's Alaric, she knows, it always has been. He has this way about him—it's his work and no one else's that keeps this young woman from falling apart at her seams.

"I think he did," mutters Alaric, quietly taking Jenna's hand. "In his own way."

Caroline can't help herself. "You don't think that one ex of his had anything to do with it? I know he loved her a lot."

Jenna looks a little confused, but Alaric shakes his head. "I think she had a lot to do with it—but I think she only made him realize what he really wanted. What he could have when he really tried. I've seen some horrible sides of Damon Salvatore, and he's a world class jackass. But I think he really loved her. I think he had for a while."

"When did you first think so?"

"The day of the Miss Mystic Fall Pageant." He takes a drink and looks to Jenna, who makes a knowing noise and nods her head in agreement. "I don't think you were paying much attention to Elena at that moment, Caroline, but Stefan up and disappeared and Damon was right there to take his spot. If you'd have seen the look on his face when he danced with her. It's been a while since I've seen a man look at a woman with that kind of intensity, and I don't think a man could if he didn't love her."

Alaric kisses the back of Jenna's hand and Caroline's quickly on her feet, grabbing her coat, and blubbering apologies about cutting short their conversation—_but look at the time, I better be going_—and her feet carry her so fast to the door, it's a wonder Jenna doesn't start asking questions about her speed. _Damon_ and _love_ are two things she'd never put in the same sentence. Add in _Elena_ and she'd call you crazy.

But maybe, just maybe, she'd missed it all. Maybe, just maybe, there was a lot more going on behind the scenes that she'd previously given thought to.

She wonders, as she walks the dark streets to her own home, how much she missed.


	4. four

**title:** wear me like a locket around your throat.  
**pairings: **damon salvatore/elena gilbert. implied tyler lockwood/caroline forbes.  
**rating:** t.  
**disclaimer:** i do not own _the vampire diaries._ i do not own fall out boy.  
**warnings: **spoilers up to latest episodes released. language. (character death.?)  
**words:** 6,797.  
**prompt:** _the rise and fall (and rise) of damon and elena's relationship through the eyes of another character. i don't mind who the character is—so long as it isn't bonnie or an oc. _written for the 2010 Damon/Elena Secret Santa Exchange at the **damon_elena** community on LiveJournal.  
**summary: **six days after elijah physically removed katerina petrova's head from her shoulders, they disappear.

**author Notes: **i like this title—as you can tell, i've been listening to too much old school fall out boy lately—but this could easily also have been titled _"my love affair with caroline forbes."_ xD this prompt? loved it, loved it, loved it. it took me forever to actually decided how i wanted to write it out, so sorry it's so late. i hope this is what you want, whoever you are. (:

* * *

_**so make my bed the grave and shovel dirt onto my sheets.**_  
She used to like when he visited her late at night, but now she can't stand it.

"Matt, are you drunk?"

Matt Donovan stumbles his way from her window to her bed and she wonders how he managed to climb up to the window in the first place. Matt's a goofy drunk; not loud or annoying, nothing too rowdy, just giggly and comedic, and downright clingy when he clamps on to the right person. He's liable to climb into bed with anyone, just for a platonic snuggle. He's all smiles and grabby, in a completely non-creepy way. When he's drunk, he just wants physical contact, whether it's kissing, hugging, or a hand on his shoulder. But Caroline's not in the mood to deal with this, not after Bonnie, not after Elena—and most certainly not after Tyler.

"C'mon, Care," he slurs, sliding in next to her, not bothering to get under the covers. "You've been a stick in the mud since Elena left. I'sorry that your bestie friend's gone, but can't we jus' spend sum time togetherrr?"

It takes all she can to keep from using all her vampire strength to hurl him out of her bed. "My _mother_ is asleep down the hall, Matthew—you can't just come climbing through my window at three in the morning and expect to get some. You need to go home. Now."

His head lolls to the side and something churns in her stomach. She can't help but compare his big blue eyes, so warm and innocent, to Tyler's dark brown, intense gaze. She thinks back to the conversation she had with Alaric and Jenna just a few hours before, and she wonders if Matt could ever look at her like how she imagines Damon looked at Elena—probably still looks at her.

"Why you so cold now?" Matt tries to grab her arm, but she avoids him and slips out of bed. She's in a pair of her dad's old shorts and a football jersey that she can't remember who it belonged to. He lies across her bed, languidly, reaching for her.

Caroline wants him out of her bed, out her house, and even a little part of her, wants him out of her life. "Literally or figuratively?"

Matt blinks. "Huh?"

"God, you're too fucked up to even know what's going on right now."

She's so angry, she's practically spitting—and Caroline Forbes does not spit. She pulls some baggy sweatpants from her dresser and tugs them on over the shorts, slipping her feet barefoot into her tennis shoes. Lastly, she grabs her keys and then hauls Matt to his feet. He really is fucked up, or else he wouldn't have noticed that she can support him upright with just one arm.

"Come on," she snarls, tugging him down the stairs as forcibly as she can without making noise and awaking her mother. The last thing she needs to explain is why underage Matt, the ever-after good boy who is going somewhere in life if he can manage to stop falling in love with the wrong girls, is drunk and already in her home. For once, Caroline will play good child. "We're getting you home."

She's got Matt in her car before he even makes a sound. It's a groan.

He's quiet and folded over on himself, head down, eyes locked on his feet. She hopes he's not going to puke all over her nice interior. He doesn't speak until she's halfway down the street. "Why don't girls ever love me, Caroline? You don't, Elena didn't—why are all of you with me and don't love me?"

Caroline sighs and keeps her eyes on the road, refusing to let herself feel guilty. This is not her fault.

"I don't know, Matt."

"What did Stefan have that I didn't? Why did she leave with him?"

The blonde pauses and glances at him out the corner of her eye. "Stefan had less time than you did," she says eventually, turning on to the main street. She sighs then, again, and puts a hand on his leg, the only way she can comfort him. "She didn't leave with Stefan—that's just what everybody thinks. She left with Damon. I don't know where Stefan went. Probably after the both of them."

"What?" She thinks maybe he's coming down, sobering out. "The fuck?"

She doesn't respond for a while.

When she does, she's helping him into bed, tucking the sheets around him like he's a baby. He's staring at her like she's an angel, or the devil, or maybe his mother—she's not quite sure. But it's a look she's never been on the receiving end of, and she doesn't quite know if she wants to. Ever again.

"It's not you. It's us, Matt. There's something about us… that's wrong. You deserve better." For the second time that day, she kisses a boy on the forehead and then leaves him. But she's come to a decision, and this time, she knows it's right.

Elena always left every once else behind.

She must have loved Damon, if she chose to finally leave with someone.

* * *

_**i've seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you.  
**_"What did I do wrong, Caroline?"

It's a question she's getting sick of trying to answer. It's all anyone ever wants to know anymore—_what did I do wrong?_ But she's had enough time to think about all these things. Think about Elena, and Damon, and Stefan and Matt and Tyler and Bonnie. Think about anybody else who has somehow gotten worked up into this fucked up thing she can't stand to think about anymore. It's all a giant atom, she thinks now, taking a sip of bourbon and relishing the burn it creates going down her throat. _With Elena as our nucleus_. She wishes she understood how her stomach still worked, but she can't bring herself to care anymore.

Three weeks after the Matt Incident, she's making her normal rounds past the Salvatore boardinghouse around 1am, and she sees a light on. Something inside her gave her hope—and she really thought that maybe Elena and Damon had decided to show up again. But it's not.

It's Stefan. He looks tired and worn out, older than she's ever thought he looked by decades.

Maybe the loss of Elena's love has truly reflected the years he's seen onto his face. Or maybe that's his own guilt. One can never be too sure with Stefan, because he's high and mighty one minute and then he'll kill you and drink your blood the next. Except he does it with less cool, elegant grace and arrogance than Damon.

"Everything."

He welcomed her in and offered her a drink, and this is how she repays him? _Fuck him_, she thinks. Her life is messed up enough, and all because he couldn't stay away from one little girl. She's gonna break him and she doesn't even have it in her to feel guilty.

Stefan stops behind the couch, drink in his hand. "Everything?" he whispers, dark eyes hollow and lifeless.

"You lied to her. You kept secrets, and when you didn't, it was only because she pried them out from between your teeth." She takes another small sip, smacks her lips as she peers into the depths of the tumbler as though it may hold the secrets of life. Then she downs the rest and set it on the table. "You never fully surrendered to her. You never fully let her in. You took—but you never gave."

He's in front of her, and Caroline almost admits to missing having another vampire around, just for kicks.

"I gave up everything to be with her," he says, knee on Caroline's leg, gripping hard. "I sacrificed everything."

"Excuse me?" She sounds like Bonnie now.

Caroline brushes off his hand as though he were nothing, a child, a mere mortal. She's stronger now. "You sacrificed nothing," she snarls, fangs bared. She can't stand to look at him anymore—look at the misery he brought into her life. Into Elena's life. "So you saved her life, that doesn't mean she owed it to you, she never asked. All she wanted was you to view her as an equal, the way a real relationship is supposed to be. You want to know what you didn't do, _Stefan Salvatore_?" She's got him up against the wall, all in his face, hand on his chest, gripping the fabric there. He's so taken back by her strength, but the ferocity behind her words, he does nothing but stare.

"You weren't Damon."

She lets him go and he slips to the ground, cradling his head. "It was supposed to be me."

"Surprise, surprise," she says mockingly. "You took Katherine from Damon not once, not twice, but three times. All he ever wanted was her. And you knew that. But you took once the day you took her to bed when you knew how much it hurt him. And you took her twice when you out-ed her to your father. And you took her again when she told him that she never loved him."

Caroline leans down in front of him and places a hand on his shoulder, her face almost sincere. She feels bad, but not in a guilty way. More a pitying way. Because Stefan does not know what to do when he's not number one. She's had lots of experience there.

"They had their ups and down, and god, she hated him from the time she knew him—but he _never_ lied to her. He never once led her on, didn't not explain things to her, leave her. No matter what, he _always_ had her back. She did what you, and Katherine, and no one else could ever do for Damon. She makes him better." Caroline pats his shoulder and stands back to full height. "Let them go. Don't go looking for them again. They deserve some happiness in this world. For all their history, all their fights and spats, he'll never leave her. She is his one and only. And you know from experience, Damon doesn't know the meaning of the word "share."

She leaves him there, on the floor of his own house, wallowing in his own pity. She stops by the next morning, on the way to school, he's gone.

The next day, Caroline is leaving to meet up with Tyler when she finds a post card with no return address on her porch.

It's dated a week ago yesterday, and the front side has a picture of the Colosseum on the front. She smiles and traces a finger over the delicate script writing along the back, admitting that yes, this person misses her, and yes, they will see each other again someday. There's a promise of a life-debt if she takes care of Aunt Jenna and keeps an eye out for Jeremy. It also tells her not to look for them—when they want to be found, they'll show up, when she least expects it. There is no signature.

"You better keep your promises, Elena," she mutters under her breath as she stuffs it in her purse, then continues out the doorway.

* * *

_**you can thank your lucky stars that everything i wish for will never come true.  
**_On her way home from work one evening, she passes by the old Salvatore boardinghouse. There is a light on inside.

It has been four years since Damon and Elena left Mystic Falls for greener pastures (Rome, for one, which Caroline will never forgive Elena if she never gets to see it herself). No one has heard from them, no one has seen them, and Elena's missing persons file has long since gone cold and locked in some dark basement. If the file disappeared from the police station, Caroline will swear she had nothing to do it.

She lets herself in, because in the four years since they left, no one has ever put the house up for sale or attempted to purchase it. Someone continued to make all the normal payments on bills, and occasionally, even she and Tyler used it as a little get-away. The 'fridge in the basement is always well-stocked with both donor and animal blood, courtesy of Alaric Saltzman, who has sort of adopted her as a child. He officially moved into the Gilbert home three years ago. Caroline is pleased to say that she's a godmother now.

There's a roaring fire in the center room, and Caroline smiles conspiratorially.

"Welcome home."

The smile of the woman seated on the couch before her is both hauntingly dark and beautiful, and there is something of Katherine in the way that she moves—but her dark eyes are kind, and she embraces Caroline with warmth she's grown to miss over the years. Elena could never have been Katherine. This is all the explanation needed.

Elena sighs and joins hands with the dark-haired man at her side. "It's good to be home," she says.

Caroline punches him in the shoulder and he has the decency to pretend as though he could actually feel it, rubbing at the spot with his fingers. She cannot help the smile behind her words, the glint of a fang in the firelight. "Hurt her and I'll end you."

Damon Salvatore bows his head in submission and Elena chuckles at his side. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

_finis._


End file.
